Definition of unicorn dating
Unicorn dating refers to a relationship dynamic where a single person, often a bisexual woman, joins a couple to form a three-way relationship. The term “unicorn” is used because this person is considered rare and ideal, much like the mythical creature. In unicorn dating, the single person is usually open to engaging romantically or sexually with both members of the couple. It typically involves open-minded individuals interested in ethical non-monogamy.
Origin of the term “unicorn”
The term “unicorn” first gained popularity within polyamorous and swinger communities. It symbolizes someone who meets very specific criteria: usually a single woman who is willing to join an existing couple without disrupting the relationship between the couple. Just as real unicorns don’t exist in mythology, finding someone who meets all those expectations has long been considered a rare experience. As a result, the person in this role became known as a “unicorn.”
Who are unicorns and what do they seek?
Unicorns are often women who are emotionally mature, sexually fluid, and open to forming relationships that don’t follow the traditional norms. While many are bisexual, not all unicorns define themselves that way. Some may identify as pansexual, queer, or simply open-minded. Most unicorns look for respectful and balanced dynamics where their emotional needs are also considered. They seek genuine connections, not just casual encounters, and want to feel valued rather than treated as a fantasy object.
Why unicorn dating is popular in polyamory
Unicorn dating is popular in polyamory circles because it allows couples to expand their relationship in a consensual and emotionally open way. It introduces variety and new energy into an existing relationship while building deep connections with a third partner. For many polyamorous couples, a unicorn can be a meaningful addition to their relationship rather than a temporary fling. The dynamic encourages communication, emotional honesty, and the breaking down of traditional relationship barriers.
It also appeals to those who enjoy non-traditional family structures. Instead of sticking to a binary relationship, unicorn dating offers flexibility in terms of roles, expectations, and emotional bonds. It’s not just about sex; it’s about connection, mutual respect, and shared experiences.
Tips for exploring unicorn dating for the first time
1. Understand what you want
Before jumping into unicorn dating, it’s important to know what you’re looking for. Are you a couple looking to bring someone in? Or are you a single person interested in dating a couple? Clarifying your goals can help you communicate more clearly and attract the right kind of partners.
2. Communicate openly and honestly
Clear communication is crucial in unicorn dating. All parties should express their desires, boundaries, and expectations upfront. Discuss emotional availability, time commitments, and how decisions will be made in the relationship. Good communication helps avoid misunderstandings and builds a foundation of trust.
3. Set and respect boundaries
Every unicorn dating arrangement should have clearly defined boundaries. Each individual should feel safe, respected, and in control of their own choices. For couples, it’s important not to treat the unicorn as an add-on or outsider. For unicorns, it’s essential to voice concerns and ensure their needs are taken seriously.
4. Avoid unicorn hunting behavior
“Unicorn hunting” refers to couples treating the third person as a checklist item rather than a whole human being. This approach often leads to power imbalances and hurt feelings. Respect the unicorn’s autonomy and make sure their presence enhances the relationship for all, not just for the couple. Equality and mutual care should be the core values of any unicorn dating situation.
5. Use inclusive dating platforms
When beginning your unicorn dating journey, it helps to use platforms that support non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships. Apps like Bicupid cater specifically to people looking for unicorn dating arrangements. These platforms allow users to find others who understand and respect the unicorn dynamic, reducing the likelihood of awkward or mismatched encounters.
6. Take your time
Unicorn dating works best when it’s not rushed. Building trust and emotional intimacy takes time. Whether you are a unicorn or part of a couple, give the relationship space to grow naturally. Listen to each other, remain flexible, and be open to evolving together.
7. Educate yourself about polyamory
Understanding polyamorous relationship models can help make unicorn dating more fulfilling. Read books, attend workshops, and follow polyamorous content creators to deepen your knowledge. The more informed you are, the better prepared you’ll be to handle the emotional and social aspects of non-traditional dating.
8. Check your motivations
Be honest about why you’re interested in unicorn dating. Are you exploring it because you’re genuinely curious about building a triad relationship? Or are you doing it for novelty or fantasy reasons? Being clear about your intentions helps set a respectful tone from the beginning and encourages meaningful interactions.
9. Be prepared for challenges
Unicorn dating, like any relationship, comes with challenges. Jealousy, insecurity, or miscommunication can arise. What matters most is how you deal with these issues. Regular check-ins and emotional support go a long way in keeping the relationship healthy. All parties should feel equally valued and heard.
10. Celebrate the connection
When unicorn dating goes well, it can be a deeply rewarding experience. All members of the relationship can enjoy emotional closeness, fun adventures, and new perspectives. Take time to appreciate each other and acknowledge the uniqueness of your connection.
Unicorn dating isn’t just a trend. It’s a lifestyle choice that celebrates diversity, openness, and the power of human connection beyond traditional norms. With care, respect, and clear communication, unicorn dating can be an exciting way to explore love and intimacy in a new way.